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Monday, April 21, 2008
10:50 PM
Things happen over and over again, there seems to be no way out anymore. Simply tired of all these. Perhaps it's just not the right time and right one yet. Too many issues, too many hurtful words, too many anger, too many emotions, too many misunderstandings, too many miscommunication, too many too many.
I seem to have lost myself. Trying to be someone else, trying to learn to be someone whom 'he' can accept. Too much pressure, too much of "if you can speak up". Tired of hearing such things. If everyone can express themselves easily, there wont be any differences between introverts and extroverts.
Understanding doesnt come from 'speaking up' constantly, it's the heart. If emotions can be spelt out clearly, who doesnt want it that way. Some people may be straightforward, but some people may not be. However, we do not force our beliefs, logics, princeples etc on another person.
Hurtful words said once is enough, no matter how angry each of us were at that time, we shouldnt use any hurtful language or words. However I'm extremely disappointed in that. Changing one's nature takes time, i believe you agree, but i can tell you that I really do not see any difference between you now and before. I'm not afraid to say that I really did control my emotions lately and try to talk things out nicely and apologise whenever it is necessary. I'm tired of hearing you saying, 'I will change, give me time' when i dont see any effort put into it. If there is effort put into it, I will not hear hurtful words again. It's back to square one.
If someone who is angry can tell you that he/she is angry and is going to show you his/her attitude, thats no longer being angry. How to control emotions? When you are sad you laugh? When you are happy you cry like everyone on the earth are dead and leaving only you behind? It's true that talking things out nicely may be the best way to control conflicts from happening and all, but no matter how much that person can control, it will definitely not be as nice as when they are not angry? True?
On the other hand, if the way I'm treating you is not any better than I'm treating a dog, I've got nothing to say. It only reflects what kind of person I am to you and how much u assume you mean to me. Extremely disappointed.
Pressure from family, pressure from you, it's enough. I'm trying very hard to change, but no matter how much I put in the effort, it's still not enough. That's it. It's the end. I'm really very tired.
as said by cher
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Chermaine Lee, 20
Jonathon Han is L.O.V.E =]
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